Conversations with Mom

I went out of town to spend the weekend with my family to celebrate Christmas early. We do that because my better half is not welcome and I want to spend Christmas with her. Most of the weekend was good and I enjoyed my family. But it seems like there is always something that occurs that reminds me that I am a disappointment. I was with my family for 3 days. The following is a paraphrase of conversations with my mom while I was there.


Day One.

Have you thought about getting in touch with Pastor ____ and his wife.
No.
I wish that you would. They would love to see you.
I'd rather keep up with them from a distance.
People can change. They've been through a lot in the past year.
I know.
Would you think about getting in touch with them?
No.
Why not?
Because I will not put myself in a position to get beat up again.
People can change. You can change.
I don't need to change. I am who I am.
Yeah, you do.
I'm okay with who I am. God is okay with who I am.
You know what the Bible says.
We don't need to talk about this because we will not agree.
The Bible....
Can say whatever a person wants it to say. It can be used to justify anything.
You are deceived.

Day Two.

I remember when you were in high school and a co-worker told me that they wished their daughter was more like you and interested in helping other people. I bet she wouldn't say that now.
Thanks, mom.
(Cheerfully) You're welcome.
It must really suck.
It does suck.

Thank you, Ray and Carol

When I was a teenager, I was always at church and really involved in the youth group. I can't remember not knowing who Ray Boltz was. His music was always there. I went on a mission trip with Teen Mania when I was in high school. One of my friends went to Botswana with Teen Mania that year and Ray Boltz was also there to shoot a video. My friend was in his video. I think the song was "I Will Tell the World." I think. Needless to say, Ray Boltz was popular in our youth group.

I read an interview recently where Ray Boltz talked about his coming out experience. I had such mixed emotions about it. Part of me was scared for him. Scared because I know how people in the church can treat those of us who come out. Everyone knows that you can't be gay and christian. If you are, then you must be deceived and "not right with God." Part of me was sad for him too. Sad because I know how bad rejection from church and family hurt. I think more than anything, I was impressed (I use this word because I'm not quite sure what other word to use). It takes a lot of courage for anyone to come out. When a well known christian who has been put up on a pedestal comes out, they have to be prepared for the attacks and rejection that surely come.

If you haven't been there, you can't know how hard it is as a christian who happens to be gay to make the decision to be honest about who you are - honest with yourself and others. So, I am impressed. Impressed with the courage of Ray Boltz to be who God created him to be. Impressed with his wife who has the courage to be supportive when it would probably be a lot easier not to be.


Ray Boltz has a new song out called "Don't Tell Me Who to Love." Check it out at the following link with this video.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gBQyJTXiOYs